Hudson is lying across my lap atop a pillow. His hands are clasped together on his chest, and he is drowsily nursing. I close my hand over both of his, and I smile. I am bursting with joy. This is a perfect mommy moment. This is what I expected when I was expecting.
In truth, moments like this are few. Our typical nursing sessions happen in my queen size bed, and neither cat is anywhere in sight because Hudson has been fussing so much prior to his feeding. Or, sometimes, our smaller cat is crawling all over Hudson and me, whining for the Papa who won't be home for several days. And then there is the spit up. Hudson has reflux, so he often spits up a lot after his feedings. Sometimes it's to the point where I make a bottle of formula immediately after a feeding because I just can't imagine there's any supply of mother's milk left for him.
But in their own way, these are also perfect mommy moments. Hudson eventually drifts off to sleep in my arms. Minerva eventually curls up beside me to sleep for the night. The tough moments will pass soon, and with them, all too soon, this year of infancy.